Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do

For some reason lately, I've been feeling really.... Nostalgic, I guess? I'm really missing summer, and I'm aching for it to be summer now, but then I stop and I think to myself "Why?". Why do I want it to be summer? Why does it matter? Nothing is really going to change from the way things are now, except that it'll be warmer. I keep thinking of my favourite summers. The summer between grade 10 and 11 when myself, my two best friends, Dan Girling, Steve Olynyk and Chris Ansel would just... spend our nights walking around, driving around, doing nothing. No drinking, no drugs, nothing that 15/16 year olds are up to these days. Just walking through sprinklers, running around the track at our highschool and watching movies. It was a great summer, and the last one where I didn't have a job and had nothing but free time.
I also loved the summers where I worked at the theatre and I worked at the RBG. There was a lot of time spent with really good friends, staying up super late and just talking. Making lots of plans, being ridiculous and coming up with ridiculous quotes.

I don't know. I feel like this summer is going to suck and because of it I'm listening to CD's that remind me of better times. I'm probably just depressing myself. It started with The Ataris So Long, Astoria, which is my summer CD. Every summer I bust out this CD and it makes me feel awesome. Then I started listening to Yellowcards Ocean Avenue. Both these CDs came out when I was in highschool and that's what they remind me of. Summer highschools and times when life seemed so much easier. And apparently New Found Glorys Coming Home does the same thing, even though that CD came out in my second year of University. I still get the same feeling.

I just miss my friends. I miss having people to hang out with. I miss hanging out with friends and it being free and knowing we didn't have to go out somewhere to have fun together. I miss late nights where we'd go for walks just because it was still warm out at midnight. I miss spending some "quality time" with Brad (if you catch my meaning) and then going for a walk to the corner store at 3am. I miss staying up until the birds started chirping and having all my friends sleeping in my living room with me. Now I spend almost every weekend alone, and I feel like that isn't going to change when the weather's nicer. Brad will still be working weekends, I'll still be working stupid early hours, and we'll still be broke.

It's just bullshit.

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up.
These are the best days of our lives

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Awesome #12

12: Talking to your computer

Ever noticed the little noises you make when your computer is being slow, or isn't doing what you want? You either yell at it ("Stupid piece of CRAP"), or encourage it ("come on... Just load. Please?").

It's 100x worse when you're showing someone something. My favourite is waiting for something to load (because it always takes longer with an audience) and you sit there going "Chh chhh chh". As if making weird filler noises will make the wait less awkward. Usually followed by "it isn't usually this slow".

Haha. It kills me. Computers make us so awkward.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Awesome #11 (Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever.)

11: Klaine

If you don't watch Glee, you have no idea what Klaine is. But basically I've been in love with Darren Criss since I saw A Very Potter Musical (look that shit UP), and then I found out he was going to be in Glee and I was STOKED. THEN I found out he was a love interest for Kurt and I was STOKED. For real. I love Kurt's character and he goes through so much in Glee... Plus they make a great duet.

AND THEN, LAST NIGHT... THEY FINALLY KISSED.

I'm sorry, but I am beyond excited about this. A) I love them both. B) It was so romantic. C) I just want them to be happy. D) Open gay relationship on prime time television showing kids it's OKAY to be yourself. E) I like to watch boys kiss. I'd apologize but any straight man would jizz his pants if Brittney and Santana finally actually had a steamy make out like that one, SO NO. I'M NOT SORRY. It's how I roll

This article from Entertainment Weekly KIND of describes my happiness haha. Except I'm awful at explaining shit. Basically, I loved it. And rewound it a whole lot of times and squee'd all by myself.

The look on Blaine's face when he says "I've been looking for you forever". All dead serious and totally afraid. But going for it. Kurt's hand slamming on the desk after the kiss. Blaine's adorable nervous face afterwards. Seriously. SQUEE. I wish boys talked like that in real life, hahaha.

I heart! Also, I texted Jana WHILE Kurt was singing Blackbird and I went "BLAINE LOVES HIM SO MUCH", without knowing what was coming.



If you care, there's the video from Youtube (one of a million) here. For whatever reason, it's a mirror image.. but that's fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.




Yes, this post is all spammy and me squee-ing. Shut up

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Awesome #10

10: The Lord of the Rings

I feel like I don't need to say anything more about this, but I do. I can barely articulate how much this movie has effected my life. I would say "changed" but really, a fantasy story about adorable short guys, elves and hot warrior men off to destroy jewelry isn't really something I can model myself after. But this story has effected a lot of things in my life.

The first time I ever read The Hobbit, I was in 6th grade. And I didn't like it. What? I'm crazy, right?! I thought it was boring (at the time I was reading teen novels that were far too advanced for my virgin eyes, and a whole buttload of Dean Koontz), and so I never bothered with Lord of the Rings. When they started filming, I saw a couple news stories that nerdy friends of mine would send me, and the only thing I found exciting was the Elijah Wood was playing Frodo Baggins. The Fellowship of the Ring was released on December 19th, 2001. I had plans to see it with said nerdy friends because I like movies and the trailers made it look interesting, but they all bailed and on Boxing Day in 2001 my friend Erica and I saw The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time.

And everything changed.

I don't remember a whole lot of how I felt the first time I saw that movie. I remember referring to Legolas as "Pretty Elf Boy" the whole time (and for YEARS after wards), and I remember getting absolutely lost in the story. And I remember leaving the theatre with my jaw open in absolute joy and shock and disbelief. I saw it the next day, and 2 days after that. I saw Fellowship of the Ring 17 times in theatres, and COUNTLESS times on my computer afterwards.

It only got worse after that. I remember buying tickets for The Two Towers and Return of the King as soon as the tickets were available to be purchased. I remember being jealous of the people who somehow managed to see the 1 screening before the one I went to. I remember getting a high-school teacher to POSTPONE A TEST because we'd already bought our tickets to the movie.

There are so many things about these movies and this story that I am in love with. The little guy (literally) being the hero. The infallible sidekick, who is always my favourite character (see: Ron Weasley). The joy of friendship and the hardships of doing what's right. The fantasy, the love, the elaborate languages and visuals that J.R.R. Tolkien wrote into these stories are just amazing. And the movies, just wow. You can really BELIEVE everything in those movies really happened. The costumes and the sets and the CGI is all so genuine and incredible. The dedication that the people working on this movie, on-screen and off, is just amazing. It took years to get this movie filming, not to mention over 18 months to film. For many people, this movie was a lifestyle while they worked on it. And while I waited for them to be released, it was a lifestyle to me.

One of my favourite parts of the movies is the behind the scenes. Did you know two men don't have fingerprints on their index fingers and thumbs from linking together so much chainmail? Or that Theoden's leather armour was decorated on the outside AND the inside, just so it would feel more authentic to him? Or that John Rhys-Davies was allergic to the glue they used to attach the prosthetics to his face, but kept at it for over a year anyways?

I could go on, but the feelings I feel watching these movies are so personal to me I can barely even articulate it. All I know is that the day I sat down to watch The Fellowship of the Ring, I had no idea how different my life would be from that moment on. That when I was sick in the future, I would watch behind the scenes footage as a "comfort movie", or that I would bond with friends on snowy days watching all 3 extended films in a row almost every Christmas holiday we could. That my first tattoo would be a symbol of hope from the movies and no one would know what it was, as I still get "is that the tree of life?" every time someone new sees it.

In case you didn't know, I've been watching The Return of the King the last few days. I had a hard weekend and Brad suggested we watch it. Instant cure for the blues. I wish I still had a tissue box decorated solely for the purpose of seeing this movie again.

*le sigh* seriously, I can't even SAY how much this story means to me. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy how awesome it is.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Awesome #9

9: Speeding

Am I the only one who gets all annoyed when someone is driving the speed limit? Unless there's a baby in your car, or it's about to explode, you can afford a little speed. In Canada, you never get pulled over unless you're going at least 15 km/h over the speed limit. So do it!

I love going fast. Especially in my new cute car. It's one of the best ways to relax. Plus, you get places faster. PLUS if it's nice outside, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Awesome #8

Snowing at Night

You're outside, stepping out of your car. You're tense because the drive home.. it kind of sucked. Maybe your tires are bald (guilty) or you drove too fast, or you haven't driven at night in a while... Whatever. But you step out of your car, and you realize... You can't hear the highway, or anything. There's a hush that falls over everything when it snows, and at night... it's almost like you could be the only one there. And not in a creepy way. It's calming. And then you notice... it's so bright. That's what I really love. The sky is always kind of pink at night when it snows, and what little light there is is bouncing off the new fallen snow. It could be the middle of the night, with no moon out and one measly street lamp guiding your way, but you can see it all.

When it snows at night, it's like the perfect quiet world. And it's never dark.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sadface

I can't really think of anything awesome right now. I'm having a very depressing weekend, and these aren't really rare.

I'm really having a lot of trouble right now when it comes to friends. On one hand, I feel like I've got some great friends, but on the other hand.. I never see them. One in particular has never made any effort to come visit me in Guelph since moving into this apartment. Supposed to be my best friend... but she's just.. fading away. Doesn't inform me of anything going on in her life and making no effort to know anything about or be in mine. It's really hard to deal with. I've got abandonment issues with friends enough as it is, and this is the one person who I should never have to feel this way with. And here we are. But of course, I've brought it up and got nothing but "you don't understand how busy I was". WAS. not am. I'm still here.
I don't want to get much into it... but it's intensely upsetting, especially since I've decided to just give up. She can be my friend if she decides I'm worth it... but I'm out of energy trying at all.

In Guelph, I feel out of touch with everyone. A lot of my good friends from working at the theatre have moved away, so I never get to see them. The ones I do still have in town I either feel like I'm imposing on, or have opposite schedules than me and I never get to see. Spending a Friday or Saturday (or in this case, both) alone, at home... isn't that rare. But it's hard, and it's depressing and I hate it.

I'd love to move back to Burlington because I know I've got friends there, but I've got good friends in Guelph too. And I love Guelph, and it's the perfect city for Brad and I. It's between our families, we have mutual friends here (moving back to Burlington, Brad wouldn't really know anyone and since he doesn't like to "impose" on people by seeing if they want to hang out, he would be alone even more than he is here), Brad's job is here... and I honestly love it here. I love it..

It's just hard

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Awesome #7

7: Mini Eggs

A lot of the things I find awesome are material goods. But seriously. Mini Eggs. AND the fact that they come in bags that weight almost a full kilogram. I'm on a diet... and I make ROOM for mini eggs. Thanks for the sack of deliciousness, Brad!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Awesome #5

5: Birthdays

So you're older. Sometimes it's no good (when you're older), sometimes it's awesome (my insurance rated went down!). But the rest of it... usually awesome! People you barely talk to? Wish you a happy birthday. Can't afford to go out? Who cares, it's your birthday! You get free stuff (even if not a whole lot of it), you can use the "it's my birthday" excuse to get away with a lot of things...

Basically it was my birthday this weekend. I turned 25. I'm halfway to 50. Halfway through this decade to 30. I feel like I should have gotten so much done in my life because when I was young I wanted to be married, or almost married, by now, and have kids by 30. 5 years? Babies in 5 years?! I can't see that now. But I've got a sweet apartment, a boyfriend who I love so much, a full-time job (barf) and I'm buying a car this week.

On Friday I went out in Guelph with some of my Guelph friends, including a delicious dinner (leftovers tonight!), fishbowls of liquor, A FLAT TIRE, a ridiculous night at Vinyl AND 3 FREE TEQUILA SHOTS IN A ROW. Yes. A grand night. Saturday we woke up early, I went and put a deposit on the car of MY DREAMS, had a nap and went to Emma's Back Porch for good times with great friends. Friends I haven't seen in a while. A shitty waitress and a lot of laughs. So good. Sunday was my actual birthday which included a trip to the mall, some chillage, new curtains and dinner at Jack Astors.

Which, by the way...

6: Garlic Pan Bread from Jack Astors

JUST SAYIN, IT'S AMAZING.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Awesome #4

4: Working From Home

Again, I haven't updated in a little while! I suck. I've actually been busy having a life. Today, though, I am working from home. That's right! We knew this big snow storm was going to hit. And even though it hasn't dropped a ton of snow so far, the roads are awful. And we predicted this! So I have next to me a drive full of images of pavement (Soooo exciting) just waiting to be audited whilst I sit at home in my Pirate slippers and pj's, sipping tea while Brad still sleeps. He works 10-6 today so I guess it's good I'm home, he can take the car to work instead of walking. But even getting just to the theatre, which is like.. 2km from our apartment, I'm going to be like DRIVE SAFE!

But the moral of the story is, I can work from home. I can prepare myself food, and look outdoors, and wear what I want. While I work. Mmmm

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Awesome

2: My Dad

I am beyond a Daddy's girl. I strive a lot of the time to be like him in so many ways. My dad is funny, sarcastic, kind, giving, polite, and generally awesome. He and my mother raised me in such a way that my brothers and I were never grounded, never snuck out, never got in bad trouble. My biggest worry is disappointing my dad. He gets along with everyone but you can't walk all over him. He loves his family more than anything. He quotes Lord of the Rings to me. He gives me weed. He trusts me. He's never scared off my boyfriends. In fact my first boyfriend said, a while after we broke up, that one thing he really missed... Was my dad.

I can hardly even express how important my dad is to me. Hence why this entry makes almost no sense. He's coming to Guelph today to cosign on a loan for me to get a car. After helping me to find one for the last 4 months. I look up to him more than anyone else, ever. Sorry Mom ;)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Awesome #1

1: Taking Off Your Socks

Seriously. Your feet are sweaty, or you're warm, or you've been on your feet all day. Get in the house, take off your socks and sit down. Doesn't matter where. Doesn't matter where your socks go (at the moment). It's like bliss.

Mmmm

Whoops

Oops.  It would seem in the madness of the holidays and rereading Dooce, and then starting The Biggest Loser competition with Erin and Jana, I've forgotten to blog.  I think this may have a lot to do with the fact that I actually feel better about everything lately.  I'm in the process of buying a new car.  I'm doing this competition and I've lost almost 6 lbs in 3 weeks.  Things are starting to look up.  I've joined this website called My Fitness Pal and it is just amazing.  I can track everything I eat, every exercise I do, and all the nutrients in what I'm eating and it'll tell me how much I'm allowed, and if I'm doing well. It's a massive community too so anything I've been having issues with, someone else has been too.  And they wrote about it. And then I read about it. Victory.

I do want to post more often. Just about things that happen in my day.  I'd like to add photographs but my camera is so abysmally average, and just makes everything BRIGHT (not pretty, or well-lit... just BRIGHT) that I don't tend to take a lot of pictures with it.  I wish I had an amazing camera. haha.

I had an idea though.  In an attempt to keep my mind on the positive side (I have a job interview on Thursday! I've lost 6 lbs! My birthday is coming up!), I want to attempt to post 1 thing that cheers me up or that I find awesome every day.  This, of course, has EVERYTHING to do with 1000 Awesome Things which is just.. a dude with a list of 1000 awesome things.  I honestly had 3 of them last night while I was fiddling around in the apartment, but of course, they're gone now.  I'll try to come up with one by the end of the night and post it. Maybe with accompanying picture? OOOOoooo so fancy.