For some reason lately, I've been feeling really.... Nostalgic, I guess? I'm really missing summer, and I'm aching for it to be summer now, but then I stop and I think to myself "Why?". Why do I want it to be summer? Why does it matter? Nothing is really going to change from the way things are now, except that it'll be warmer. I keep thinking of my favourite summers. The summer between grade 10 and 11 when myself, my two best friends, Dan Girling, Steve Olynyk and Chris Ansel would just... spend our nights walking around, driving around, doing nothing. No drinking, no drugs, nothing that 15/16 year olds are up to these days. Just walking through sprinklers, running around the track at our highschool and watching movies. It was a great summer, and the last one where I didn't have a job and had nothing but free time.
I also loved the summers where I worked at the theatre and I worked at the RBG. There was a lot of time spent with really good friends, staying up super late and just talking. Making lots of plans, being ridiculous and coming up with ridiculous quotes.
I don't know. I feel like this summer is going to suck and because of it I'm listening to CD's that remind me of better times. I'm probably just depressing myself. It started with The Ataris So Long, Astoria, which is my summer CD. Every summer I bust out this CD and it makes me feel awesome. Then I started listening to Yellowcards Ocean Avenue. Both these CDs came out when I was in highschool and that's what they remind me of. Summer highschools and times when life seemed so much easier. And apparently New Found Glorys Coming Home does the same thing, even though that CD came out in my second year of University. I still get the same feeling.
I just miss my friends. I miss having people to hang out with. I miss hanging out with friends and it being free and knowing we didn't have to go out somewhere to have fun together. I miss late nights where we'd go for walks just because it was still warm out at midnight. I miss spending some "quality time" with Brad (if you catch my meaning) and then going for a walk to the corner store at 3am. I miss staying up until the birds started chirping and having all my friends sleeping in my living room with me. Now I spend almost every weekend alone, and I feel like that isn't going to change when the weather's nicer. Brad will still be working weekends, I'll still be working stupid early hours, and we'll still be broke.
It's just bullshit.
Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up.
These are the best days of our lives
I'm really sorry, friend. I loved that summer too... the summer of doing absolutely nothing and absolutely everything.
ReplyDeleteI don't really want to go back to that, though. I mean, I would love to have zero responsibilities, but I think my personality has changed so much since then that it would just bore me and make me tired, lol.
Life changes for everyone... nostalgia is normal. It wont always be the way it is now, so instead of looking back, maybe look forward? Everything changes, and this will change too. You and Brad are still just getting started. Give it time. I'm not stoked about my situation either, but I know that 6 years from now things are going to be as different as they are from 6 years ago.
I love you, Amy. Don't be sad :)