Sadface

I can't really think of anything awesome right now. I'm having a very depressing weekend, and these aren't really rare.

I'm really having a lot of trouble right now when it comes to friends. On one hand, I feel like I've got some great friends, but on the other hand.. I never see them. One in particular has never made any effort to come visit me in Guelph since moving into this apartment. Supposed to be my best friend... but she's just.. fading away. Doesn't inform me of anything going on in her life and making no effort to know anything about or be in mine. It's really hard to deal with. I've got abandonment issues with friends enough as it is, and this is the one person who I should never have to feel this way with. And here we are. But of course, I've brought it up and got nothing but "you don't understand how busy I was". WAS. not am. I'm still here.
I don't want to get much into it... but it's intensely upsetting, especially since I've decided to just give up. She can be my friend if she decides I'm worth it... but I'm out of energy trying at all.

In Guelph, I feel out of touch with everyone. A lot of my good friends from working at the theatre have moved away, so I never get to see them. The ones I do still have in town I either feel like I'm imposing on, or have opposite schedules than me and I never get to see. Spending a Friday or Saturday (or in this case, both) alone, at home... isn't that rare. But it's hard, and it's depressing and I hate it.

I'd love to move back to Burlington because I know I've got friends there, but I've got good friends in Guelph too. And I love Guelph, and it's the perfect city for Brad and I. It's between our families, we have mutual friends here (moving back to Burlington, Brad wouldn't really know anyone and since he doesn't like to "impose" on people by seeing if they want to hang out, he would be alone even more than he is here), Brad's job is here... and I honestly love it here. I love it..

It's just hard