This blog...

So I started this blog for a couple of reasons.  To have something to do in the evenings when I'm alone, to have a way to attempt to express how I feel and help me work through it myself, to record my weight issues in an attempt to lose a whole bunch... and for fun, of course!

I have this job.. and I've had this job for 5 months only.  I'm still technically on probation at this job.  I like this job. It pays well, the benefits are good, I can pretty much make my own schedule as long as I work the right amount of hours, and the people are great! GREAT! Did I mention the greatness of the people? They're great. Especially in my department, the people... they rock.  They're funny and nice and just my type.  But I live in city A, the the job is in city B.  City A is about... 56km from city B.  This is a 45 minute drive.  Each way.  Every day.  And my car can go maybe... I don't know.. JUST over 400 km on a tank.  This equals filling up my gas tank AT LEAST once a week, but more often twice a week.  Which equates to about $400/month on gas.  That's problem 1.  Problem 2... I have this boyfriend. And he's great. Think about something great, and he's better. And I love him so much. SO much.  But he has this great job (I wish I had HIS job) and he works in City A. At 5, 4 days a week, and at 4 once a week.  He can walk to work, no biggie.. except that he works until about 2am.  And I won't let him walk home at 2am for many reasons.  This means that I have to be home by 4:30.  Which means I work 7-3 during the week.  Which means I wake up at 5:30 every morning.  WHICH MEANS I go to bed at 9:30 every night.  Another reason why don't want Brad to walk home... he won't get home until like 3am at the earliest.  And he can't come to bed after 3:30 if I want to sleep between that time and my alarm. Because I'm crazy like that.  Thus... bed by 9:30 and no car pretty much every night.  So I have no social life.

Basically, I have no social life, I sit on my butt at least 10 hours a day, and I never get to see my wonderful amazing Boyfriend.  This has lead to some bad things. Such as the weight gain (25lbs in 3 months?), the loneliness (thank God for my cat. Asta Proudfoot! You'll hear more about her... all the time), and the depression. Yup. Depression. I'm not a depression kind of person! I'm an obscenely happy, annoying optimistic type person who always finds a silver lining and all that crap.  But lately, from all the things together... I'm not happy.  I'm not finding a silver lining. I'm not optimistic.  I spent over a month being angry at my AMAZING boyfriend for stupid shit that doesn't normally bother me.  And he wasn't really taking me seriously... so it wasn't getting better. It took 2 weeks of crying by myself and 2 epic breakdowns in front of him for him and even myself to really understand what's wrong.

But the good news is I now know what's wrong, and I'm actively trying to fix it!  I weigh more than I every thought I'd let myself weigh.  This makes me miserable.  I never get to see ANYONE. This makes me miserable.  So I'm trying to lose weight (except for today... today I'm being bad.  I ate bad and I didn't jog), and I'm (yikes) applying for a new job.  TRYING. It took me months to find my job in City B, and that's only because my friend from school works there and hooked me up with an application. So this may be a long haul.

So here we are. Day 2 of the New Blog.  Let's try this
1) I applied for a new job yesterday working for City A.  It pays a bajillion dollars an hour, it's a 10 minute drive from home, and would allow me to wake up as late as 7:30AM! That's sleeping in an extra 2 hours! That's bed at 11:30pm! THAT'S AMAZING.
2) I weigh.... ugh.... 204lbs.  I'm 5'3" and weigh 204lbs. Most of it isn't in my boobs (although... my boobs are fabulous)

I worked out twice this week. I'm eating Special K for breakfast every morning instead of bagels or breakfast sandwiches.  I TRY to have grapes for a snack instead of Doritos or candy. If I keep this up, I could lose weight.  If I exercise more... I could lose weight. If I keep track of it here, I may actually be forced to lose weight haha.


I feel like Bridget Jones. Minus the smoking.. and the hot boss. Though my hot boyfriend is now a boss at the job where we met. If I'd worked an extra 2 DAYS... I'd be banging my hot boss. You totally wanted to know that.