For some reason lately, I've been feeling really.... Nostalgic, I guess? I'm really missing summer, and I'm aching for it to be summer now, but then I stop and I think to myself "Why?". Why do I want it to be summer? Why does it matter? Nothing is really going to change from the way things are now, except that it'll be warmer. I keep thinking of my favourite summers. The summer between grade 10 and 11 when myself, my two best friends, Dan Girling, Steve Olynyk and Chris Ansel would just... spend our nights walking around, driving around, doing nothing. No drinking, no drugs, nothing that 15/16 year olds are up to these days. Just walking through sprinklers, running around the track at our highschool and watching movies. It was a great summer, and the last one where I didn't have a job and had nothing but free time.
I also loved the summers where I worked at the theatre and I worked at the RBG. There was a lot of time spent with really good friends, staying up super late and just talking. Making lots of plans, being ridiculous and coming up with ridiculous quotes.
I don't know. I feel like this summer is going to suck and because of it I'm listening to CD's that remind me of better times. I'm probably just depressing myself. It started with The Ataris So Long, Astoria, which is my summer CD. Every summer I bust out this CD and it makes me feel awesome. Then I started listening to Yellowcards Ocean Avenue. Both these CDs came out when I was in highschool and that's what they remind me of. Summer highschools and times when life seemed so much easier. And apparently New Found Glorys Coming Home does the same thing, even though that CD came out in my second year of University. I still get the same feeling.
I just miss my friends. I miss having people to hang out with. I miss hanging out with friends and it being free and knowing we didn't have to go out somewhere to have fun together. I miss late nights where we'd go for walks just because it was still warm out at midnight. I miss spending some "quality time" with Brad (if you catch my meaning) and then going for a walk to the corner store at 3am. I miss staying up until the birds started chirping and having all my friends sleeping in my living room with me. Now I spend almost every weekend alone, and I feel like that isn't going to change when the weather's nicer. Brad will still be working weekends, I'll still be working stupid early hours, and we'll still be broke.
It's just bullshit.
Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up.
These are the best days of our lives
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Awesome #12
12: Talking to your computer
Ever noticed the little noises you make when your computer is being slow, or isn't doing what you want? You either yell at it ("Stupid piece of CRAP"), or encourage it ("come on... Just load. Please?").
It's 100x worse when you're showing someone something. My favourite is waiting for something to load (because it always takes longer with an audience) and you sit there going "Chh chhh chh". As if making weird filler noises will make the wait less awkward. Usually followed by "it isn't usually this slow".
Haha. It kills me. Computers make us so awkward.
Ever noticed the little noises you make when your computer is being slow, or isn't doing what you want? You either yell at it ("Stupid piece of CRAP"), or encourage it ("come on... Just load. Please?").
It's 100x worse when you're showing someone something. My favourite is waiting for something to load (because it always takes longer with an audience) and you sit there going "Chh chhh chh". As if making weird filler noises will make the wait less awkward. Usually followed by "it isn't usually this slow".
Haha. It kills me. Computers make us so awkward.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Awesome #11 (Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever.)
11: Klaine
If you don't watch Glee, you have no idea what Klaine is. But basically I've been in love with Darren Criss since I saw A Very Potter Musical (look that shit UP), and then I found out he was going to be in Glee and I was STOKED. THEN I found out he was a love interest for Kurt and I was STOKED. For real. I love Kurt's character and he goes through so much in Glee... Plus they make a great duet.
AND THEN, LAST NIGHT... THEY FINALLY KISSED.
I'm sorry, but I am beyond excited about this. A) I love them both. B) It was so romantic. C) I just want them to be happy. D) Open gay relationship on prime time television showing kids it's OKAY to be yourself. E) I like to watch boys kiss. I'd apologize but any straight man would jizz his pants if Brittney and Santana finally actually had a steamy make out like that one, SO NO. I'M NOT SORRY. It's how I roll
This article from Entertainment Weekly KIND of describes my happiness haha. Except I'm awful at explaining shit. Basically, I loved it. And rewound it a whole lot of times and squee'd all by myself.
The look on Blaine's face when he says "I've been looking for you forever". All dead serious and totally afraid. But going for it. Kurt's hand slamming on the desk after the kiss. Blaine's adorable nervous face afterwards. Seriously. SQUEE. I wish boys talked like that in real life, hahaha.
I heart! Also, I texted Jana WHILE Kurt was singing Blackbird and I went "BLAINE LOVES HIM SO MUCH", without knowing what was coming.
If you care, there's the video from Youtube (one of a million) here. For whatever reason, it's a mirror image.. but that's fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
Yes, this post is all spammy and me squee-ing. Shut up
If you don't watch Glee, you have no idea what Klaine is. But basically I've been in love with Darren Criss since I saw A Very Potter Musical (look that shit UP), and then I found out he was going to be in Glee and I was STOKED. THEN I found out he was a love interest for Kurt and I was STOKED. For real. I love Kurt's character and he goes through so much in Glee... Plus they make a great duet.
AND THEN, LAST NIGHT... THEY FINALLY KISSED.
I'm sorry, but I am beyond excited about this. A) I love them both. B) It was so romantic. C) I just want them to be happy. D) Open gay relationship on prime time television showing kids it's OKAY to be yourself. E) I like to watch boys kiss. I'd apologize but any straight man would jizz his pants if Brittney and Santana finally actually had a steamy make out like that one, SO NO. I'M NOT SORRY. It's how I roll
This article from Entertainment Weekly KIND of describes my happiness haha. Except I'm awful at explaining shit. Basically, I loved it. And rewound it a whole lot of times and squee'd all by myself.
The look on Blaine's face when he says "I've been looking for you forever". All dead serious and totally afraid. But going for it. Kurt's hand slamming on the desk after the kiss. Blaine's adorable nervous face afterwards. Seriously. SQUEE. I wish boys talked like that in real life, hahaha.
I heart! Also, I texted Jana WHILE Kurt was singing Blackbird and I went "BLAINE LOVES HIM SO MUCH", without knowing what was coming.
If you care, there's the video from Youtube (one of a million) here. For whatever reason, it's a mirror image.. but that's fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
Yes, this post is all spammy and me squee-ing. Shut up
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Awesome #10
10: The Lord of the Rings
I feel like I don't need to say anything more about this, but I do. I can barely articulate how much this movie has effected my life. I would say "changed" but really, a fantasy story about adorable short guys, elves and hot warrior men off to destroy jewelry isn't really something I can model myself after. But this story has effected a lot of things in my life.
The first time I ever read The Hobbit, I was in 6th grade. And I didn't like it. What? I'm crazy, right?! I thought it was boring (at the time I was reading teen novels that were far too advanced for my virgin eyes, and a whole buttload of Dean Koontz), and so I never bothered with Lord of the Rings. When they started filming, I saw a couple news stories that nerdy friends of mine would send me, and the only thing I found exciting was the Elijah Wood was playing Frodo Baggins. The Fellowship of the Ring was released on December 19th, 2001. I had plans to see it with said nerdy friends because I like movies and the trailers made it look interesting, but they all bailed and on Boxing Day in 2001 my friend Erica and I saw The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time.
And everything changed.
I don't remember a whole lot of how I felt the first time I saw that movie. I remember referring to Legolas as "Pretty Elf Boy" the whole time (and for YEARS after wards), and I remember getting absolutely lost in the story. And I remember leaving the theatre with my jaw open in absolute joy and shock and disbelief. I saw it the next day, and 2 days after that. I saw Fellowship of the Ring 17 times in theatres, and COUNTLESS times on my computer afterwards.
It only got worse after that. I remember buying tickets for The Two Towers and Return of the King as soon as the tickets were available to be purchased. I remember being jealous of the people who somehow managed to see the 1 screening before the one I went to. I remember getting a high-school teacher to POSTPONE A TEST because we'd already bought our tickets to the movie.
There are so many things about these movies and this story that I am in love with. The little guy (literally) being the hero. The infallible sidekick, who is always my favourite character (see: Ron Weasley). The joy of friendship and the hardships of doing what's right. The fantasy, the love, the elaborate languages and visuals that J.R.R. Tolkien wrote into these stories are just amazing. And the movies, just wow. You can really BELIEVE everything in those movies really happened. The costumes and the sets and the CGI is all so genuine and incredible. The dedication that the people working on this movie, on-screen and off, is just amazing. It took years to get this movie filming, not to mention over 18 months to film. For many people, this movie was a lifestyle while they worked on it. And while I waited for them to be released, it was a lifestyle to me.
One of my favourite parts of the movies is the behind the scenes. Did you know two men don't have fingerprints on their index fingers and thumbs from linking together so much chainmail? Or that Theoden's leather armour was decorated on the outside AND the inside, just so it would feel more authentic to him? Or that John Rhys-Davies was allergic to the glue they used to attach the prosthetics to his face, but kept at it for over a year anyways?
I could go on, but the feelings I feel watching these movies are so personal to me I can barely even articulate it. All I know is that the day I sat down to watch The Fellowship of the Ring, I had no idea how different my life would be from that moment on. That when I was sick in the future, I would watch behind the scenes footage as a "comfort movie", or that I would bond with friends on snowy days watching all 3 extended films in a row almost every Christmas holiday we could. That my first tattoo would be a symbol of hope from the movies and no one would know what it was, as I still get "is that the tree of life?" every time someone new sees it.
In case you didn't know, I've been watching The Return of the King the last few days. I had a hard weekend and Brad suggested we watch it. Instant cure for the blues. I wish I still had a tissue box decorated solely for the purpose of seeing this movie again.
*le sigh* seriously, I can't even SAY how much this story means to me. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy how awesome it is.
I feel like I don't need to say anything more about this, but I do. I can barely articulate how much this movie has effected my life. I would say "changed" but really, a fantasy story about adorable short guys, elves and hot warrior men off to destroy jewelry isn't really something I can model myself after. But this story has effected a lot of things in my life.
The first time I ever read The Hobbit, I was in 6th grade. And I didn't like it. What? I'm crazy, right?! I thought it was boring (at the time I was reading teen novels that were far too advanced for my virgin eyes, and a whole buttload of Dean Koontz), and so I never bothered with Lord of the Rings. When they started filming, I saw a couple news stories that nerdy friends of mine would send me, and the only thing I found exciting was the Elijah Wood was playing Frodo Baggins. The Fellowship of the Ring was released on December 19th, 2001. I had plans to see it with said nerdy friends because I like movies and the trailers made it look interesting, but they all bailed and on Boxing Day in 2001 my friend Erica and I saw The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time.
And everything changed.
I don't remember a whole lot of how I felt the first time I saw that movie. I remember referring to Legolas as "Pretty Elf Boy" the whole time (and for YEARS after wards), and I remember getting absolutely lost in the story. And I remember leaving the theatre with my jaw open in absolute joy and shock and disbelief. I saw it the next day, and 2 days after that. I saw Fellowship of the Ring 17 times in theatres, and COUNTLESS times on my computer afterwards.
It only got worse after that. I remember buying tickets for The Two Towers and Return of the King as soon as the tickets were available to be purchased. I remember being jealous of the people who somehow managed to see the 1 screening before the one I went to. I remember getting a high-school teacher to POSTPONE A TEST because we'd already bought our tickets to the movie.
There are so many things about these movies and this story that I am in love with. The little guy (literally) being the hero. The infallible sidekick, who is always my favourite character (see: Ron Weasley). The joy of friendship and the hardships of doing what's right. The fantasy, the love, the elaborate languages and visuals that J.R.R. Tolkien wrote into these stories are just amazing. And the movies, just wow. You can really BELIEVE everything in those movies really happened. The costumes and the sets and the CGI is all so genuine and incredible. The dedication that the people working on this movie, on-screen and off, is just amazing. It took years to get this movie filming, not to mention over 18 months to film. For many people, this movie was a lifestyle while they worked on it. And while I waited for them to be released, it was a lifestyle to me.
One of my favourite parts of the movies is the behind the scenes. Did you know two men don't have fingerprints on their index fingers and thumbs from linking together so much chainmail? Or that Theoden's leather armour was decorated on the outside AND the inside, just so it would feel more authentic to him? Or that John Rhys-Davies was allergic to the glue they used to attach the prosthetics to his face, but kept at it for over a year anyways?
I could go on, but the feelings I feel watching these movies are so personal to me I can barely even articulate it. All I know is that the day I sat down to watch The Fellowship of the Ring, I had no idea how different my life would be from that moment on. That when I was sick in the future, I would watch behind the scenes footage as a "comfort movie", or that I would bond with friends on snowy days watching all 3 extended films in a row almost every Christmas holiday we could. That my first tattoo would be a symbol of hope from the movies and no one would know what it was, as I still get "is that the tree of life?" every time someone new sees it.
In case you didn't know, I've been watching The Return of the King the last few days. I had a hard weekend and Brad suggested we watch it. Instant cure for the blues. I wish I still had a tissue box decorated solely for the purpose of seeing this movie again.
*le sigh* seriously, I can't even SAY how much this story means to me. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy how awesome it is.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Awesome #9
9: Speeding
Am I the only one who gets all annoyed when someone is driving the speed limit? Unless there's a baby in your car, or it's about to explode, you can afford a little speed. In Canada, you never get pulled over unless you're going at least 15 km/h over the speed limit. So do it!
I love going fast. Especially in my new cute car. It's one of the best ways to relax. Plus, you get places faster. PLUS if it's nice outside, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
Am I the only one who gets all annoyed when someone is driving the speed limit? Unless there's a baby in your car, or it's about to explode, you can afford a little speed. In Canada, you never get pulled over unless you're going at least 15 km/h over the speed limit. So do it!
I love going fast. Especially in my new cute car. It's one of the best ways to relax. Plus, you get places faster. PLUS if it's nice outside, EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Awesome #8
Snowing at Night
You're outside, stepping out of your car. You're tense because the drive home.. it kind of sucked. Maybe your tires are bald (guilty) or you drove too fast, or you haven't driven at night in a while... Whatever. But you step out of your car, and you realize... You can't hear the highway, or anything. There's a hush that falls over everything when it snows, and at night... it's almost like you could be the only one there. And not in a creepy way. It's calming. And then you notice... it's so bright. That's what I really love. The sky is always kind of pink at night when it snows, and what little light there is is bouncing off the new fallen snow. It could be the middle of the night, with no moon out and one measly street lamp guiding your way, but you can see it all.
When it snows at night, it's like the perfect quiet world. And it's never dark.
You're outside, stepping out of your car. You're tense because the drive home.. it kind of sucked. Maybe your tires are bald (guilty) or you drove too fast, or you haven't driven at night in a while... Whatever. But you step out of your car, and you realize... You can't hear the highway, or anything. There's a hush that falls over everything when it snows, and at night... it's almost like you could be the only one there. And not in a creepy way. It's calming. And then you notice... it's so bright. That's what I really love. The sky is always kind of pink at night when it snows, and what little light there is is bouncing off the new fallen snow. It could be the middle of the night, with no moon out and one measly street lamp guiding your way, but you can see it all.
When it snows at night, it's like the perfect quiet world. And it's never dark.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sadface
I can't really think of anything awesome right now. I'm having a very depressing weekend, and these aren't really rare.
I'm really having a lot of trouble right now when it comes to friends. On one hand, I feel like I've got some great friends, but on the other hand.. I never see them. One in particular has never made any effort to come visit me in Guelph since moving into this apartment. Supposed to be my best friend... but she's just.. fading away. Doesn't inform me of anything going on in her life and making no effort to know anything about or be in mine. It's really hard to deal with. I've got abandonment issues with friends enough as it is, and this is the one person who I should never have to feel this way with. And here we are. But of course, I've brought it up and got nothing but "you don't understand how busy I was". WAS. not am. I'm still here.
I don't want to get much into it... but it's intensely upsetting, especially since I've decided to just give up. She can be my friend if she decides I'm worth it... but I'm out of energy trying at all.
In Guelph, I feel out of touch with everyone. A lot of my good friends from working at the theatre have moved away, so I never get to see them. The ones I do still have in town I either feel like I'm imposing on, or have opposite schedules than me and I never get to see. Spending a Friday or Saturday (or in this case, both) alone, at home... isn't that rare. But it's hard, and it's depressing and I hate it.
I'd love to move back to Burlington because I know I've got friends there, but I've got good friends in Guelph too. And I love Guelph, and it's the perfect city for Brad and I. It's between our families, we have mutual friends here (moving back to Burlington, Brad wouldn't really know anyone and since he doesn't like to "impose" on people by seeing if they want to hang out, he would be alone even more than he is here), Brad's job is here... and I honestly love it here. I love it..
It's just hard
I'm really having a lot of trouble right now when it comes to friends. On one hand, I feel like I've got some great friends, but on the other hand.. I never see them. One in particular has never made any effort to come visit me in Guelph since moving into this apartment. Supposed to be my best friend... but she's just.. fading away. Doesn't inform me of anything going on in her life and making no effort to know anything about or be in mine. It's really hard to deal with. I've got abandonment issues with friends enough as it is, and this is the one person who I should never have to feel this way with. And here we are. But of course, I've brought it up and got nothing but "you don't understand how busy I was". WAS. not am. I'm still here.
I don't want to get much into it... but it's intensely upsetting, especially since I've decided to just give up. She can be my friend if she decides I'm worth it... but I'm out of energy trying at all.
In Guelph, I feel out of touch with everyone. A lot of my good friends from working at the theatre have moved away, so I never get to see them. The ones I do still have in town I either feel like I'm imposing on, or have opposite schedules than me and I never get to see. Spending a Friday or Saturday (or in this case, both) alone, at home... isn't that rare. But it's hard, and it's depressing and I hate it.
I'd love to move back to Burlington because I know I've got friends there, but I've got good friends in Guelph too. And I love Guelph, and it's the perfect city for Brad and I. It's between our families, we have mutual friends here (moving back to Burlington, Brad wouldn't really know anyone and since he doesn't like to "impose" on people by seeing if they want to hang out, he would be alone even more than he is here), Brad's job is here... and I honestly love it here. I love it..
It's just hard
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